If you want to get to know someone better, you have to ask questions. But not just any old questions. You need questions that will get them talking about what makes them tick and what they’re passionate about.
Asking questions is also an easy way to break the ice when talking with someone new.
You want to ensure that your questions are appropriate for the person you’re speaking with, and you want them to feel comfortable answering each one.
I’ve come up with 135 questions to ask to get to know someone. Feel free to use these to develop a substantial connection with someone or just to have fun with them!
30 Good Questions to Ask to Get to Know Someone
- What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
- How long have you been single?
- What is one of your favorite smells?
- Are you a clean or messy person?
- Pick two out of thin, wealthy, or wise to be. Why did you pick those two?
- Would you rather see the future or change the past?
- What’s the best piece of advice someone has given you?
- If you were forced to relive one 10-minute block of your life again and again for all eternity, what 10 minutes of your life would you choose?
- What’s something embarrassing that happened to you today?
- What do you value most in a friendship?
- What’s something you’re not good at that you wish you were better at?
- What was the first thing you bought with your own money?
- What’s the most interesting job you’ve ever had?
- If it’s been a long time since you graduated from college, what have you done to stay current in your industry?
- What’s your least favorite activity on a team project?
- What is the most overrated movie of all time?
- Do you have any annoying habits?
- What do you love most about your career?
- What is the dumbest way you’ve almost died?
- Where in the world are you dying to go to but haven’t yet?
- Do you have any skills or talents that most people don’t know about?
- What are three things on your bucket list?
- Who’s your go-to band or artist when you can’t decide on something to listen to?
- If you could only wear one outfit for the rest of your life, what would it be?
- What was the best decision you ever made?
- Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten years? Twenty years?
- How would you describe your perfect day off from work?
- If money were not an issue, where in the world would you build your dream house?
- What accomplishment are you most proud of in your career so far? Why is this meaningful to you?
- What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done?
30 Deep Questions to Ask to Get to Know Someone
- What cultural values are important to you?
- What is the best piece of advice you’ve received?
- Is what you’re doing now what you always wanted to do growing up?
- What is the one thing that makes you feel alive?
- When was the first time someone told you they loved you and when was the last time someone told you they loved you?
- If everything in your life was exactly how you wanted it to be, what would your ideal day look like?
- If there were no restrictions or limitations on what job you could have, what would you choose to do for a living and why?
- What is the most important thing you learned from your parents?
- What’s one misconception people have about you?
- What are three things that make life worth living?
- What kind of relationship did you have with your mother or father?
- What do you think is your best or worst personality trait?
- How do you handle being out of your comfort zone?
- Do you believe in the afterlife?
- Do you consider yourself to be spiritual or religious? How so?
- What one thing you would change about the world if you could?
- If you could live in any other era of history, when would it be and why?
- What would you do with your life if you were suddenly awarded a billion dollars?
- How are you most likely to show your partner you love them?
- How often do you take time out of your busy schedule to appreciate the little things in life?
- What are your views on sex before marriage?
- What do you get nostalgic about, even though it was embarrassing at the time?
- What are your life goals and how are you working towards them?
- What do you think is the purpose of life?
- What are your dealbreakers in a relationship?
- What are your political views and how did you believe in them?
- Do you think a person should be judged based on their political stands? Why or why not?
- What do you fear happening by the end of your life?
- How would you like to be remembered after you pass away?
- Do you believe that everything happens for a reason or are some things just random?
30 Interesting Questions to Ask to Get to Know Someone
- Do you believe in the afterlife? If so, what do you think happens after we die?
- Would you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert? Why do you feel that way about yourself?
- When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with?
- What was one of the happiest moments in your childhood? Sad moment? Most embarrassing moment?
- If you had to cut off all communication with one person, who would it be and why?
- How do you think people see you vs. how do you actually see yourself?
- Where is the favorite place that you’ve traveled to and why was it so special to you?
- Have any habits that have drastically changed your life for the better? In what ways?
- If you could choose a decade to grow up in, which would you choose?
- What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience for the first time again?
- When did something start out badly for you but in the end, it was great?
- If a high school stereotype were to describe you in adulthood (e.g. the popular jock, the class clown, the nerd), who would it be and why?
- Do your parents know about all the things that you do now? What are the things they don’t know about?
- If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be?
- If you could only drink one type of beer for the rest of your life, which one would it be?
- In which situation do you feel most uncomfortable?
- If you could only speak one word for the rest of your life, what word would you choose?
- Tell me about a time when you had to change your habits. How did that process go?
- Do you believe in any conspiracy theories? If so, which ones?
- If someone told you that 10 years from now, your life would be perfect, but you would have to be alone for the rest of your life, would you take the deal or pass it up?
- Do you think we’ll ever run out of new music to listen to or new books to read? Why or why not?
- Would you spend a million dollars to stay a certain age forever? If yes, how old would it be and why that age?
- What did you learn as a child that still applies to your life today?
- If a doctor gave you five years to live and you didn’t need money, what would you do with your time?
- Have your political views ever changed? When and how?
- What was the best thing and the worst thing that happened this week?
- If your job gave you a surprise three-day paid break to rest and recuperate, what would you do with those three days?
- What’s something that changed the way you behaved or thought after hearing it?
- When was the last time you tried something new?
- What do you think are some small things that make a big difference?
25 Personal Questions to Ask to Get to Really Know Someone
- What do you think about when you’re by yourself?
- How old were you when you learned Santa wasn’t real? Who told you, and how did it make you feel?
- What is your definition of love?
- What is something that people think about you that would surprise them if they knew it wasn’t true?
- What’s the most immature thing that you do?
- What do you think about when you’re lying in bed not able to fall asleep?
- What is something you like about yourself?
- What makes you feel the most vulnerable and what encouraged you to feel that way?
- Have you ever made a decision that changed your entire life?
- What is a piece of advice that you were given that if you listened to it, you would not be where you are today?
- Do you think more people should have a relationship with God rather tha. just be religious?
- When was the first time someone close to you passed away? How did it affect you?
- Is there a song that always makes you cry or smile when you hear it? What memory or feelings trigger you to feel this way?
- What’s something that not many people know about you but has had a big impact on your life?
- What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever given to someone?
- If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?
- Have you ever considered moving somewhere else or changing identities entirely?
- Do you like where you live, or is there somewhere else in the world that feels more like home?
- How would your parents describe you as a child?
- What do you wish people thought of you?
- How long was the longest romantic relationship you have had and why did it end?
- Do you have the same outlook on life you had a year ago, and how has it changed since then?
- What drives you to be consumed with anger instantly?
- What are some red flags to watch out for in daily life?
- Can you tell when someone is telling the truth? How can you always tell?
20 Funny Questions to Ask to Get to Know Someone
- What weird food combinations do you really enjoy?
- What’s the funniest thing that’s ever happened to you in public?
- If you could trade lives with one person for an entire day who would it be and why?
- Were you named after anyone?
- What do people think is weird about you?
- What is the funniest joke you’ve ever heard?
- If you could play a part in a movie, which movie would it be?
- What’s the worst nickname anyone has ever given you? (And what happened to them?)
- If someone were to play you in a movie, who would it be?
- If you were in a witness protection program, what would be your new name and where would you go?
- If past lives are real, what do you think yours was in a past life?
Section: What celebrity do people think you look like? - If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be and why would you choose that name?
- What is something that your friends would consider “so you”?
- What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years?
- What’s the most ridiculous fact you know?
- Which phone fad drives you crazy?
- Would you rather go through life as a zombie or a vampire? Why?
- If animals could talk, which animal would be the rudest (or most annoying)?
- If you had to be an animal, which animal would you choose? Why?
- How often do you fart each day?
Conclusion
It’s incredibly easy to talk about the weather nowadays. We can fall back on this boring old topic without actually having to talk about anything of substance. Which, in all fairness, is probably the point.
While it’s a pleasant way to pass time while avoiding uncomfortable silences and awkwardness, it doesn’t really tell you anything about the person you’re talking to.
With these questions above, you can build a friendship or even a relationship with someone filled with genuine depth and substance.